The Perfect Egg

I cooked my dad the perfect poached egg this morning.  Dad was happy. I was thrilled too, not being known for my culinary skills.

For lunch, I cooked myself a poached egg.   Not so perfect.  Actually, I had to throw it away. It wasn’t even good enough for me, and I’m not fussy with my own cooking – I usually cook the quickest and easiest meals I can think of.

“This isn’t what I wanted” I said, when I checked out my egg.

So, cooking the egg then reminded me of life. If you don’t like the egg you’ve created, cook another one. Obvious Easter analogy here:  If you don’t like something in your life that you’ve created, create something else by doing it a different way. It’s too easy. Adding even more sense to this example, I thought of how when I was cooking for dad, I was less concerned about it. Another great theory in life – know what you want, but detach from it.  Be in the moment, and focus on it, but detach from the outcome.

So, then I cooked another egg. This time, I concentrated, was patient, and did just what I did for my dad’s perfect egg. It worked, magic. Aha! If you do something right, just copy it to get the same results.

Life can be complicated; we say “It’s hard”, (another egg analogy here), “It’s difficult”, “This isn’t working.” We can create new results with different methods, ingredients if you want to keep with the cooking analogy. We can keep it simple. Change your words to, “It’s easy”, “This is fun”, and “This is exactly what I wanted.”

I’m happy that I’ve cooked two perfect eggs today – one for me, one for my dad, and that I can explain a few simple laws of life.  The inedible egg went in the bin, no need to dwell on that one.

Move on, live and learn.

But, there’s more egg lessons from today. We had the traditional Easter egg hunt at home, we love it. Easter Bunny kindly left out my favourite white chocolate balls and Cherry Ripe egg for me too.

The kids searched for eggs, knowing exactly what they wanted, and delighting in finding their bounty.

If there was no prize to be seen, they quickly moved on and looked elsewhere. I encouraged them to keep looking until they had them all, but we went inside unknowingly leaving a couple still in the garden.

Later, I recalled the missing eggs and suggested we go outside and look again. Three eggs had been left behind and we salvaged two – one was too melted.

The life lesson is to be persistent, and keep what works.  If something isn’t right, if something is missing, keep looking until you find it. If it’s melted, it can be discarded. Keep the best eggs, and leave the bad ones.

Some say I am too analytical, (“Can’t you just have an Easter egg hunt without turning it into a philosophical theory?”) Looks like I can’t, but I invite you to see the insightful lessons in life.

Now I am enjoying another favourite egg, just the way I like it – with cherry bits, and no need for cooking it.

Happy Easter.

Love Donna

X

You Have All The Time You Need

"I don't have enough time!"

This is the most common complaint I hear. Not just in coaching, or my interest in self-development, but in everyday life.

I notice what people complain about. I notice what people brag about. I notice what people talk about in general. Not having enough time is the most common excuse, if you like. I like helping people with coaching, and it's always easy to read someone else, don't you agree?

Now, how can we look at this issue of time?

The most common complaint of, "I don't have enough time" is often used to refer to something we say we really want. Think of the classic wail of, "I don't have enough time to exercise".  I say I want to read more, though I don't use the term, "I don't have enough time". My self-dev teaching has convinced me that I have all the time I need, and I choose how I spend it. But still, I haven't done a lot of things I wanted to do in the last year. You don't have to be Anthony Robbins to respond with, "Of course you have enough time! You're just choosing to do something else with it."

Now I'm asking myself why I didn't do certain things, and declaring that I will do them in 2013.

If I were coaching someone, I would say, "Well, it wasn't that important to you. If it was important, if you really wanted to do something, you allow the time for it." For example, I don't need to "allow" time to spend with my kids (I'm with them all the time they are not at school, except for their occasional "play dates"). But I didn't book a couple of appointments I "should" have. I want to keep spending time with my kids, and keep a lot of other activities I am already doing, but some things simply have to go to make room for the new.

Time to prioritise for 2013, and start new habits for efficiency.

I'm not the first person to say, "Now, where did that year go?".

It's amazing how the years fly by, isn't it? I know this is the most overused saying, up there with the inaccurate use of the word, "literally" (don't get me started on that one), but I have to say it to make my point.

We all agree that 2012 just flew by. As Basil Fawlty said in one of his, "Fawlty Towers" episodes (with all his hilarous animations); "What was that? That was your life. Do I get another one? No, that was it."
That is brilliant.
Thank you Basil. You only get one life. Make the most of it.
I really revved up my interest in self-development (improving my life in all areas), and helping others do the same, after the age of 40.
There's nothing like a milestone birthday to motivate you to do all the things you want to do.
I'm really into making positive change (for myself and others) to live your best life (another very common saying now).
I also say that if you're happy the way you are, that's great too.
Make sure you're doing what's important.
Spend your precious time doing what you love to do, with people you feel good around.
I expand on this point in my books, and note that there are 'mundane' jobs to do. Yes, we all have them, but we choose our overall lifestyle, career, and companions.

Do what makes you feel good. I notice how good I feel, when I have done something I've been putting off, or that is meaningful, and I wonder why I hadn't done it sooner.

So what does one do when one feels, "I don't have enough time"?

Here's my solution - We all have 24 hours a day. If we haven’t “got time” for something, we need to stop doing something we are already doing (that we’re not getting value from), to replace it with the new action we will get value from. Simple change. Who wants to do this? I do. I say a sacrifice (the giving up of something of lesser value), is a good move to something more valuable.

On New Years Eve, my besties and I wrote out our top 5 goals for 2013 (great suggestions N). We shared them. This is exactly what I suggest doing in my own coaching program (writing them down, saying them out loud and sharing them with someone are 3 very powerful ways to create them). We did our top 5, then added a bonus goal (as we got new ideas from each other). I wrote down a further 5 on New Year's day. We are all adding to our lists.  Other than the big one of "Publishing my first book", I have included my desire to read more. I could choose to read a book rather than do various other activities.

So perhaps that is our biggest challenge. Deciding what to keep and what to purge. As my bestie "N" calls it,  a "Lifestyle De-clutter".  This goes for items in your house that you no longer want or need, clothing, activities, and even people. Especially people. Think of the people who drain your time and energy.
Life is precious people. I'm not the first person to say this, nor the first person to coach others to their best life.  But if you agree with me and want to learn my ways to a more fulfilling life, please keep reading my blog.

In my new coaching program that begins today, I included my theory on letting go of something to add something desired. If you're not sure what it is you need to give up, take note of what you're spending your time on. You may be surprised if you haven't really taken notice before.

It's amazing that the desire you "don't have time for" (reading meaningful books) is so much more valuable than what you're currently doing (for me, too much shopping).

Oh, and one of my goals is to design and develop my blog, stay tuned. Will need to let go of something to fit that in  - one (or two) less trips to the shopping centre for me. Yes, I can still shop, but I can seriously tone it down. Here's to more reading/publishing/socialising (and whatever it is for you), and less on other less meaningful activities.

Can you please do 2 things for me - say and believe, "I have all the time I need to do all that is important to me".

Then please leave a comment with one of your changes if you'd like to share. If you commit to something, you'll get there quicker.

Come on, I did :-)

You have what you want

Jack was missing Calvin.
Jack is my 5 year old son. Calvin is the name of a toy.
Remember the toys we had as kids - a castle or the like, with water inside, and you had to get the hoops over the other jiggers, by pressing the buttons. That's my technical explanation.
Calvin was a smaller version of one of those. Small, plastic, fiddly and earned from Timezone after both my boys played in there with dad while I was off getting my nails done. I wasn't there when Jack chose it, but I'm tipping Calvin would have cost about $50. (Mum or dad hand over the cash for the kids to play arcade games and they "earn" a toy with the points they accumulate from the games.)
Jack loved this toy, no reason why he called him Calvin, by the way.
One night, like boys like to do, Jack pulled the plug out of Calvin, water leaked out, and no more Calvin.
We threw him away.
One less fiddly toy for me to manage, I thought.
No, Jack wanted another Calvin.
And so the search began.
Every outing since, I’ve kept my eye out for another one (and I go to the shops every day).
Until today, this magical day, (still no toy like Calvin), and yes I had considered going back to Timezone and spending another $50 to get one.
To put this into perspective, I didn’t visit a toy shop and really try that hard, was just keeping my eye out, but I knew one day it would turn up. And it was only last week that we ‘lost’ Calvin.
Today, I visited my local newsagent (I go there most days), and they have a free lucky dip if you spend over $5. Yes, I’ll buy something extra just to spend over $5 – I love that stuff.
So does Jack.
I’ll spend $300 on a cocktail dress without blinking, but if I get a free $2 toy, I’m ecstatic!
So you know where this is going.
I bought my goods, I looked into the lucky dip bin to have a rummage, (just after I had raved onto the newsagent owner about how amazing this concept was), only for the “Dora the Explorer” toy, just like Calvin but Dora themed, was gazing lovingly up at me.
Can you imagine my reaction?
I am very ‘gushy’, that is, I rave when I find something I want, or love. Everything is beautiful. Every second song on the radio is my favourite song. I get excited over the little wins, as much if not more, than the ‘big’ ones. Actually, I’m sure I get more excited over the free coffee on the loyalty card, than anyone ever has. (I’m also extravagant with money, but just love the idea of the 'gift').
I call it gratitude, and now I’ll make my point.
I rave onto my kids, and anyone who will listen, to be grateful for all the good in your life, and you’ll receive more. Even if not to “get more”, but to appreciate it.
I also strongly believe in the power of letting go of something. An item, a person, anything you want.
I dedicate a very important chapter in my book, to letting go. I say let go of the need. Want it. Love it even. But don’t need it.
For more details and good examples, you’ll have to read my book, although I’ve given a big part of the message away in this blog post.
Finding the toy today is a perfect example of so many of my beliefs.
I get excited about the little finds.
I always attract what I want, it turns up eventually.
I am always very grateful when I find what I’m looking for.
This applies to whether I buy the item, or it is given to me. It doesn’t matter either way.
Often this happens when I’m not looking for it.
I like to "find" items for my friends, as they do for me. You want it for each other, but there's a different energy about it.
A perfect example, is; I have a friend who said her favourite perfume had been discontinued. She said she even tried to buy it directly from the actual designer company, based in Italy.
Funny that I found it (the real deal) in Priceline in Kalgoorlie (my home town, population of 30,000).
Still she couldn't get it from Italy.
I bought it for her. She was happy.
Since, I have bought it again. I've found it in other places, and still she can't believe it exists.
Believe.
How can this not be the the ultimate guide to life? (Believing, that is).
Believe it and you'll see it. (Wayne Dyer says this in his famous book; I can't take credit for composing this line, but I love it).
(Not see it and you'll believe it).
Don't we all see what we're looking for?
Another good example is my thrill at discovering "Donna" perfume in Nice, France on a fun working holiday, (many years ago).
They had said it was a new perfume, just launched in Europe.
I bought it and loved it.
I refused to believe I would have to travel to Europe again to buy it.
(This was in the olden days before we could buy everything online).
I returned to Kalgoorlie and the "Donna" perfume was in the local chemist.
Priceless.
I bought it.
I also believe that when your things turn up, you lovingly accept them.
Say thank you; if it's a gift, accept it gratefully. If you buy it yourself, happily exchange the money for your item. You wanted it, you got it.
It sends a strong message to yourself that you get what you want.
So, let go go the need and it all turns up.
Believe you'll have it (the perfume, the toy, the love, the money, whatever you are "seeking").
You have it in abundance.
All the things you are looking for are here for you.
This theory applies to anything in your life you want but you can’t seem to ‘find.”
Let go of the need.
Still want it, don’t try too hard and it will find you J
Here's to many more "Calvins" showing up in our lives .

All you need is love

I recently experienced the loss of a loved one. Not only was this sad, but the circumstances too brutal and personal to share on this blog. Of course, blogging is the best therapy, equal to talking to someone (if not better at times), so I will share my feelings to ease the sadness. I feel sadness for my closest relatives mostly affected by the passing, as I was not close to the person who passed away, and yet was very affected. (I still have fond memories of times together growing up).

This is a story that I would cry about if I didn't know the victim, let alone that he was a relative.

The incident that resulted in the passing of my loved one, was preceded by violence.

I understand the victim had suffered many years of torment, teasing and bullying, due mostly to a disability since childhood. This is heartbreaking.

Whenever I watch or listen to the news, the lead story is usually about a violent attack.

The subject of bullying (and to the extreme of victims taking their own lives), is a very current topic.

I believe the bullying has always been there (I've questioned lots of people on this one), but today there seems to be more awareness of it.

My rant is to love one another.

That seems obvious.

But, maybe it isn't.

I believe bullies don't love themselves, and so they take their anger out on others, who are not strong enough to defend themselves. The taunting gets too much for the victim, so much so that they sometimes take their own life.

My children are being taught at school, where to go for help if they are being bullied.

This is good news, they need to be encouraged to seek help.

However, I feel there needs to be more focus on how to treat the bullies.

Better still, start with yourself and how you treat your own children, to prevent the bullies in the first place.

I haven't seen any focus on how to treat the bullies. Please tell me if you know of such teaching.
I want to be able to help. There must be something we can all do to help.

I want to take the focus off the bullying, and educate people on how to love and be kind.

(The message is to ease the bullying, but focus on what we want, not what we don't want.)

How I can help, is to spread the message to be kind and loving to one another, starting with yourself.

Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Approve of yourself.

Then we love others, be kind to others, approve of others.

Do whatever you can to "fix" yourself, so that you can be kind and loving to others.

This positive energy must radiate to all those around you.

I'm also a big believer in good nutrition and daily exercise to create good feelings.

If you feel healthy, eat nutritious foods and exercise daily, this creates the 'good energy' needed to project this good feeling onto others.

Please tell me if you know of any "bully" who eats well and exercises regularly.

I devote the first chapter in my book, "Feel Good Now", to loving yourself.

I talk about looking after yourself, being kind to yourself, and of course loving our children.

This also seems obvious.

But, I have seen enough angry parents in shopping centres and the like, talking to their own children in a way that I just cannot stand to watch (to the point where I have had to stop myself from interfering).

It starts with each parent or caregiver, showing love and affection for their own children, so that others shouldn't have to interfere.

It only makes sense to me that a child who is regularly shouted at, berated, and made to feel 'bad' will not feel good about themselves. They learn by example. They will be taught to repeat this behaviour, and thus this anger is passed on, and on, and on - unless we do something to stop it.

(And for the record, I discipline my own children when they need it, but they are showered with love and affection, and love is the most dominant emotion in our life).

I believe that our beliefs are 'taught' to us in early childhood, when we receive messages from our loved ones. Make sure that you are sending positive messages to your own children, and anyone else who crosses your path.

Love yourself. Love others. Be kind. Be tolerant of others' shortcomings.

If you don't feel good, do whatever you can to fix it, so that you can help others.

Eat well, sleep well, exercise regularly. If you have a headache or are tense, get a massage or visit a chiropractor. Don't take your anger out on others. Fix yourself.

Similarly, if your children don't feel good about themselves, do anything you can to fix it.

If you're not doing what makes you happy, change that too. Life is too precious not to live it to the fullest.

Tell your children you love them every day. I tell mine all day, every day. I shower them with affection. I adore them, and they know that. I compliment my friends and family. I compliment strangers too, not just my loved ones.

I want to help others. I want to stop bullying.

Loving yourself and loving others has to be the best start.

Please tell me if you agree, and I will share more soon with the first chapter of my book.

Fun, profit and homewares

Have you heard the saying, "I work for fun and profit?"
My new saying is, "I work for fun, profit and homewares".

I've been taking time out from "working" to decide what I really want to do,
realising that life is precious and one must do with one's precious time,
what really matters.

Being in a wonderful situation where I don't "need" to "go to work", I know I want to work on my projects, in my own time and conditions, and make a lovely profit to afford the many goodies life has to offer.

I believe you can have anything you want, and create any situation in your life, including "working" doing something you love to do that is fulfilling and on your terms. (I write "work" in inverted commas, as I work for fun, and profit as the saying goes, not work as in like a chore).

As I've written in a previous post, I haven't always worked for profit. Now I want to. I want to make it worthwhile. I want to help people with the wisdom I have acquired, as well as have the money I need for beautiful homewares, furniture, clothes, jewellery, perfumes and other luxurious goodies.

I've written a book, "Feel Good Now". This is my view on ways to make yourself feel better, and live a fulfilling life. Although I do not have a formal qualification, I have learnt by studying the power of the mind,  and other self-development methods, and of course good old-fashioned personal experience. I have coached many people and helped them, and they don't need me to have a formal qualification, if I help them. And I have. This makes me feel good. They say we teach what we most need to learn. You know how you always know what someone should do, when they tell you their problem? That's coaching. It's always easier when you're on the outside looking in, and not always that easy to fix when it's your own problem. Hence the need for coaches, and sometimes the coach is just there to listen. Sharing the load lessens the problem, sometimes even healing it completely.

Recently, I offloaded to a dear friend and she said all the right things, and made her suggestions. I decided I would talk to the person concerned with my issue, and we'd fix it. I didn't need to do this, as the problem was resolved just by talking about it to someone else. That's what I mean about the healing power of talking to others about our problems. Sometimes we have to do something and talk to the others involved, sometimes it takes care of itself when we decide we want to change it.

Back to the book I've written. One of my BFF's recently asked me what the status of my book was. I answered, "I've written it, and looking into publishing options, thanks for asking." I have had a lot of interest in my book, friends asking to buy a copy.

So....my next project is to create the e-book version first.

I have ideas for many products using my affirmations, such as decals you stick on your mirror, to remind you of your wonderful qualities: "I am beautiful", "I am lovable", etc...

I'll start with getting my message out in my book, stay tuned.

I believe a powerful way to get started on a project is to make the declaration - tell someone you are going to do it, so you'll commit and be accountable.

And I do so love those homewares, off to finish the book.

"My friends are here!"

I love my friends.
I love and appreciate my close friends.
You know the ones, the ones you can rely on no matter what.
The ones you can call if you need a favour, no questions asked.
The ones you can call any time and say, "I need you", and they'll be there.
As I get older, I appeciate my true friends so much more.
I cherish them.
I remember hearing when I was younger,  that you could count your true friends on one hand.
I had a lot of friends as a child, teen and young adult (didn't we all?).
Post 40, not only do I believe this is true, but also that my 3 besties, are the same ones from my childhood, and teen years.
My oldest best friend, JF, is my bestie from year 1. She still holds that special place in my heart, and is always there for me, as I am for her. We have been through all the highs and lows together.
I have re-connected with my other 2 BFF's, we met at 14 years old, in highschool.
They were my bridesmaids, and we too have seen the good and the bad times.
We have spent so much time together, and experienced so many milestones, that (as I said to NG recently),
"I have a lifetime of happy memories of you".
The "bad" times are in the background, the good times prevail.
I realise that no other friendship could endure this time, and the time we have spent apart in recent years,
 has not changed the love and respect I have for these 2 very special girlfriends.
I'll tell you a little story -
When I was a teen, I had a bit too much to drink (I'm not proud of this moment, but it's relevant to the story).
I had been put to bed to sleep it off, by our older more responsible friend, while my friends went on to the outing (the local roller skating rink we frequented on Saturday nights).
My friends arrived afterthe skating, to check on me.
I was wakened and went to the door, and in my delirium and post-drunken state, exclaimed,
"My friends are here!"
I never lived that down, as it was so funny to see my reaction to the girls (I was a very slight, sobering teen experimenting with alcohol).
I felt so happy to see them, and I still feel the same way now, 28 years later.
Since seeing the 2 girls, NG and JC, after a few years break (we were living in different cities, and I have since moved close to their location), I feel great comfort spending time with them.
I still feel as though I can tell them anything, they can trust me with their secrets, and I just love being around them.
In my recent "Feel Good Now" seminars, I talk about being around people who make you feel good.
I feel good around them.
I believe you will naturally "find" your true friends with age and wisdom, and those who are not will "fall away".
I am hosting a sleepover for my 2 BFF's tomorrow night, and excited about getting together for a long awaited catch up, (our gorgeous kids included and also very excited).
We love each other's kids too, I will always be there for them all.
We have so many jokes from our teen years, that we've passed on to our kids, they "get" our humour too.
To NG and JC, thank you for coming back into my life.
We share a special friendship.
Tomorrow night, expect a few of the old, "My friends are here."
Love you long time, Don xxx

The grass is greener on the other side

Oh, this old saying could have been written about me.

I haven't blogged for a while (this is only my third post), but I feel it is time to blog again.

Time for me to get back into a routine, and I will blog, and I will design a lovely page.

I've experienced enough upheaval and change for now. It's what I wanted, it's what I asked for - change!

And for the record, no real negative change (all things I wanted); moving to a new city, moving into new schools and communities, then moving again into a bigger house in my favourite suburb, just to name a few highlights.

"I love change", "I want what she's having", "I want to go over there", that's been me. Up until now.

Now I want to be here. In this moment, in this city, in this home.

Isn't true happiness here, in the now?

I present seminars and teach others how to live their best life, and make changes to be happy and healthy.

Of course, this doesn't mean I always take my own advice!

Yes, I know all the philosophical theories; you can travel the world seeking something, and only find the "answer" in yourself. You need to be happy with yourself, as you are now, where you are now, to be happy.

Sure, you can still go about making changes for improvement, but it all begins with being happy and content now.

Aaah, that's the answer.

Ok, so you may read into this that I've had some challenges lately, and most of my life I do feel as though I have been looking for something.

I have a loving family; a loving husband, 2 beautiful and healthy sons, and a loving extended family and amazing friends. I am healthy, and have many great qualities.

What else do you want, you would ask.

So, my declaration in this blog, is that I choose to be happy now, as things are now, and they are wonderful!

We have some issues, (who doesn't?), but they can be fixed and they are only small.

You know when you have a "bad day", then you hear of something so terrible that someone else has endured, and then you realise how blessed you really are?

I want to feel blessed all the time, all day, and not need to be reminded about it.

I've realised I feel good when I have a creative outlet outside of my family (although my family is my best and most favourite "creation"). I'm sure you understand this.

I will save my story about getting the work/family balance together in another post.

Goes something like this - I have worked and not worked (currently not doing any work outside the home and mum duties), and I love working on a creative project, (such as a seminar), that I can do in my own time, when the kids are at school.

For the record, my "work" is not always profitable, and that doesn't drive me. I spent a lot of time and energy (for no fee), organising my own highschool reunion, for example. I am driven by the event - organising something and promoting it, getting people to go and have fun!

It gives me a sense of achievement, that I think I am ultimately seeking with my "work".

Another key factor in my quest for helping people be happy, is to know your ideal outcome; how do you want to feel?

This really helps to feel happy, to know what you are "seeking". For me, it has been acclaim in my career.

I want the attention when I present, but ultimately I want to help people, while I'm also helping myself. Whenever I coach someone, it inspires me to do the same:-)

My wish for you is also to be happy, content and know what will bring this for you.

So this is my new thinking: My grass is green, it's lush and I love it, and I am going to go and water it. xx