Life Is A Smorgasbord

Your life is a smorgasbord.

I often host functions, and need to make the decision on whether to have a meal served at the table, or   a buffet.

Having the meal served at the table is usually for a more formal event with speeches, but this limits the guest to two options - most typically the guest is asked "Would you prefer beef or chicken?"

Sure, the guest can choose their preference, but then of course you often have the situation where a guest will be at the restroom and miss the wait staff, and return to a red meat dish when they would have preferred chicken. Or vice versa.

Then consider those with other dietary needs - for example, I am vegetarian. I cannot think of one vegetable I do not like, but I don't eat parmesan cheese (there's a whole other story). On the night of the event, I may be more in the mood for rice and salad than a creamy vegetable pasta dish.

Then there is the issue of portion size. Some at the function will complain they did not receive enough food, while others say they were satisfied.

This is why we need more choices.

My solution to this is to host a buffet meal wherever possible.

Which all led me to thinking how our life is like a smorgasbord.

We have a variety of options to choose from for our life - where to live, what to do to earn money, how to raise our children, and who we want to spend our precious time with.

Too often we see how people (sometimes ourselves), are choosing to stay in situations or be with people they simply do not feel good around.

After many years of self-development training and my own soul-searching, I now like to simplify life.

If you are unhappy in a situation or with certain people, simply choose another option.

(Just like the time you tried eating snails - you didn't like the taste, so you didn't eat it again.)

Before you cry, "But I can't just leave!" (my job/my partner/my friend/my relative), you can.

This is your choice.

Back to the food analogy, would you keep going back to a restaurant where you received bad service?

I wouldn't. I don't. But I have, however stayed in romantic relationships and friendships, where I didn't receive good service, or I felt were simply not good for me (or the other person).

Now I see that I have a choice. I can stay or I can go. I now choose good relationships and good service.

In your life, just like the buffet, you can choose your favourite ingredients and the amount you need to feel satisfied.

You can taste test, try new flavours, and alter the portion size until you get it just right.

Think of your life as a smorgasbord of unlimited choices.

Don't feel you have to accept what you may have once chosen or felt you were dished out.

Our tastes change, our preferences change, and others change.

Your life is your choice.

I love the saying that your life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it.

If you need help with how to go about changing an undesirable situation, please write to me at donna@donnahanks.com

Lots of love from Donna

I am Titanium!

There’s nothing like a health scare to see your life differently.

If you have endured a life-changing event such as this, you will relate to my story.

I’ll begin with telling you that I didn’t have a particular symptom about a certain condition, but that I had a strong feeling that I should see a doctor.  Call it my friend instinct.

In summary, I had tests, then more tests, and the current status is that I need more tests and surgery, and am awaiting the outcome. The good news is that they can’t yet see anything ‘bad’, even though they can’t guarantee it. That’s good news, right?

If you’re a friend or family member reading this, and I haven’t told you this news yet, please do not be alarmed and know that I am feeling very optimistic.

As I said to my dear friend who accompanied me to the doctor’s to receive the news of the results, “Who can say whether a diagnosis is ‘bad’ or ‘good’?”

This is when I really needed my own Zen advice – be present, don’t think about what may happen, be here now.

I have studied self-development, the power of the mind and some quantum physics for many years, and it is my greatest passion.

This is the perfect example of needing my own advice. I have helped others in similar situations, and here I was facing a very confronting experiencing and it was terrifying.

Adding to the situation, I have also been experiencing a deeply emotional personal issue that I am not ready to share publicly, but maybe you can read between the lines.

I have always been deeply compassionate for people who have suffered illness, and I gush my sincerest and best wishes on them, now and always.

Writing (as fellow writers and bloggers know) is therapeutic for me – it’s cleansing, and it’s freeing your deep thoughts. If others read my stories, and they feel good and it helps them, then that is a bonus.

The 24 hours between finishing the intensive tests and finding out the result, went something like this – I felt numb, I felt delirious, I was vague, everything was hazy, and a million thoughts went through my head. ‘If I have to have surgery, who will look after my kids?’ was foremost in my mind. ‘What do I tell my kids?’ Was the next most prominent thought. There were some positive ones - other people get through this, I know many people who have suffered through worse situations, I can do it, I will be ok, I am ok. Then negative - I’m not ok. I’m scared. I’m terrified. I feel so alone. Back to positive - I am strong. I am tough. I am well. All is Well.

I wrote, “I am perfect health”* one of my favourite affirmations, on the bathroom mirror and read it and believed it. (Quick plug here for my new product I’m releasing soon – stick on affirmations for your mirrors).

*Thank you Dr Wayne Dyer for this perfect affirmation.

I kept thinking, regardless of the outcome and what the doctor tells me tomorrow, “I am perfect health”. Other people recover from serious illness every day, and I am perfect health.

I am carrying that belief with me and it will remain my belief forever.

I encourage you to believe this too.

After the 24-hour wait, the doctor said that I needed further tests, as the results were not yet clear.

However, my perspective was clear.

Here are 3 startling messages I learned through this experience:

1.            You know what matters, and who matters

The people you need and if they’re available for you – physically and emotionally. There is a difference between someone saying they'll be there for you, and them actually being there in the flesh.  You know who the people are who will be with you in an instant without questioning it.

2.            Money doesn’t matter

Prior to this experience, I was already getting to this conclusion, and this has confirmed it. I still require money to live, but I am no longer emotionally attached to it and it certainly does not make one happy. It is not what I need.

3.            I can do anything

Another belief that I had been warming to, and even though telling myself, “I can”, I didn’t really believe it until now.  At one point I said, “I don’t think I can do this”, but I did, so this confirmed that I can!

Now I feel that any day I don’t have to go to hospital and have x-rays, ultrasounds, biopsies, needles, examinations and a team meeting about “my case” is a good day.

Even a day when I do need to do this, or when I go for surgery, it will still be a ‘good day’ as I am here, and this is my life, and all is well and I am perfect health.

As a bonus, I now have titanium in my body (it’s a marker so the doctors can see where they’ve been) - lots of jokes there.

It reminds me of the song, “I am Titanium”, about being strong and unbreakable. Inner strength is the power. I am superwoman, I am strong, and so is every other person who has been through illness, faced a life-threatening diagnosis, and survived it or not. I now have even more empathy for anyone who has had a similar experience, or worse.

I am titanium!