I recently experienced the loss of a loved one. Not only was this sad, but the circumstances too brutal and personal to share on this blog. Of course, blogging is the best therapy, equal to talking to someone (if not better at times), so I will share my feelings to ease the sadness. I feel sadness for my closest relatives mostly affected by the passing, as I was not close to the person who passed away, and yet was very affected. (I still have fond memories of times together growing up).
This is a story that I would cry about if I didn't know the victim, let alone that he was a relative.
The incident that resulted in the passing of my loved one, was preceded by violence.
I understand the victim had suffered many years of torment, teasing and bullying, due mostly to a disability since childhood. This is heartbreaking.
Whenever I watch or listen to the news, the lead story is usually about a violent attack.
The subject of bullying (and to the extreme of victims taking their own lives), is a very current topic.
I believe the bullying has always been there (I've questioned lots of people on this one), but today there seems to be more awareness of it.
My rant is to love one another.
That seems obvious.
But, maybe it isn't.
I believe bullies don't love themselves, and so they take their anger out on others, who are not strong enough to defend themselves. The taunting gets too much for the victim, so much so that they sometimes take their own life.
My children are being taught at school, where to go for help if they are being bullied.
This is good news, they need to be encouraged to seek help.
However, I feel there needs to be more focus on how to treat the bullies.
Better still, start with yourself and how you treat your own children, to prevent the bullies in the first place.
I haven't seen any focus on how to treat the bullies. Please tell me if you know of such teaching.
I want to be able to help. There must be something we can all do to help.
I want to take the focus off the bullying, and educate people on how to love and be kind.
(The message is to ease the bullying, but focus on what we want, not what we don't want.)
How I can help, is to spread the message to be kind and loving to one another, starting with yourself.
Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Approve of yourself.
Then we love others, be kind to others, approve of others.
Do whatever you can to "fix" yourself, so that you can be kind and loving to others.
This positive energy must radiate to all those around you.
I'm also a big believer in good nutrition and daily exercise to create good feelings.
If you feel healthy, eat nutritious foods and exercise daily, this creates the 'good energy' needed to project this good feeling onto others.
Please tell me if you know of any "bully" who eats well and exercises regularly.
I devote the first chapter in my book, "Feel Good Now", to loving yourself.
I talk about looking after yourself, being kind to yourself, and of course loving our children.
This also seems obvious.
But, I have seen enough angry parents in shopping centres and the like, talking to their own children in a way that I just cannot stand to watch (to the point where I have had to stop myself from interfering).
It starts with each parent or caregiver, showing love and affection for their own children, so that others shouldn't have to interfere.
It only makes sense to me that a child who is regularly shouted at, berated, and made to feel 'bad' will not feel good about themselves. They learn by example. They will be taught to repeat this behaviour, and thus this anger is passed on, and on, and on - unless we do something to stop it.
(And for the record, I discipline my own children when they need it, but they are showered with love and affection, and love is the most dominant emotion in our life).
I believe that our beliefs are 'taught' to us in early childhood, when we receive messages from our loved ones. Make sure that you are sending positive messages to your own children, and anyone else who crosses your path.
Love yourself. Love others. Be kind. Be tolerant of others' shortcomings.
If you don't feel good, do whatever you can to fix it, so that you can help others.
Eat well, sleep well, exercise regularly. If you have a headache or are tense, get a massage or visit a chiropractor. Don't take your anger out on others. Fix yourself.
Similarly, if your children don't feel good about themselves, do anything you can to fix it.
If you're not doing what makes you happy, change that too. Life is too precious not to live it to the fullest.
Tell your children you love them every day. I tell mine all day, every day. I shower them with affection. I adore them, and they know that. I compliment my friends and family. I compliment strangers too, not just my loved ones.
I want to help others. I want to stop bullying.
Loving yourself and loving others has to be the best start.
Please tell me if you agree, and I will share more soon with the first chapter of my book.