Your life is a smorgasbord.
I often host functions, and need to make the decision on whether to have a meal served at the table, or a buffet.
Having the meal served at the table is usually for a more formal event with speeches, but this limits the guest to two options - most typically the guest is asked "Would you prefer beef or chicken?"
Sure, the guest can choose their preference, but then of course you often have the situation where a guest will be at the restroom and miss the wait staff, and return to a red meat dish when they would have preferred chicken. Or vice versa.
Then consider those with other dietary needs - for example, I am vegetarian. I cannot think of one vegetable I do not like, but I don't eat parmesan cheese (there's a whole other story). On the night of the event, I may be more in the mood for rice and salad than a creamy vegetable pasta dish.
Then there is the issue of portion size. Some at the function will complain they did not receive enough food, while others say they were satisfied.
This is why we need more choices.
My solution to this is to host a buffet meal wherever possible.
Which all led me to thinking how our life is like a smorgasbord.
We have a variety of options to choose from for our life - where to live, what to do to earn money, how to raise our children, and who we want to spend our precious time with.
Too often we see how people (sometimes ourselves), are choosing to stay in situations or be with people they simply do not feel good around.
After many years of self-development training and my own soul-searching, I now like to simplify life.
If you are unhappy in a situation or with certain people, simply choose another option.
(Just like the time you tried eating snails - you didn't like the taste, so you didn't eat it again.)
Before you cry, "But I can't just leave!" (my job/my partner/my friend/my relative), you can.
This is your choice.
Back to the food analogy, would you keep going back to a restaurant where you received bad service?
I wouldn't. I don't. But I have, however stayed in romantic relationships and friendships, where I didn't receive good service, or I felt were simply not good for me (or the other person).
Now I see that I have a choice. I can stay or I can go. I now choose good relationships and good service.
In your life, just like the buffet, you can choose your favourite ingredients and the amount you need to feel satisfied.
You can taste test, try new flavours, and alter the portion size until you get it just right.
Think of your life as a smorgasbord of unlimited choices.
Don't feel you have to accept what you may have once chosen or felt you were dished out.
Our tastes change, our preferences change, and others change.
Your life is your choice.
I love the saying that your life is not a dress rehearsal. This is it.
If you need help with how to go about changing an undesirable situation, please write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Lots of love from Donna
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, February 21, 2014
I've been studying and teaching self-development for a few years now. I had my first insight when I was 18, and read the poster in the Kalgoorlie Miner staff-room (the regional daily newspaper I worked for) that said, "Change your thoughts and you change your world" by Norman Vincent Peale.
I felt different. I was intrigued. I then went on to read many self-development books and study programs and would share the ideas with anyone who was mildly interested. "Isn't that amazing?" I thought, and still do. I am still studying the power of the mind and our amazing brain. I often need to remind myself of what I know. I believe that we all possess great knowledge but don't usually apply it. Think of any study you have done. You have learned it. Now we must remember to apply it.
We often learn something, and then slip back into our old habits. How to change will be featured in another blog post.
It's the same with life lessons. I also believe that we receive the same lessons until we get them. We learn from them so that we can progress on our life journey. I believe we receive a life lesson in order not to repeat it, and to help others. Even with tragic events, there will be one positive result from it, and we often can't see this, or understand this, but I believe it to be true. A tragic event can be part of the bigger picture and often causes awareness of a serious issue and therefore prevents a bigger problem. That's an idea I've had, when I question the tragedies of the world. The best thought for you, if you are involved in a tragedy or very sad event, is that you don't need to understand it.
I have learned to let go. I know in theory this is the best advice, but not always easy to do in practice.
Let go of everything that causes you unhappiness.
Reframe a belief.
If your current belief is, "Why did this happen to me?”, you can reframe this to, "I don't need to understand this now, but I will keep on going and I will get through this. I will be strong and brave and be around loving people. One day this may make sense to me, and it may never make sense to me. The best thing I can do right now is to let go of the need to ask "Why", and to be in the present moment."
Being in the present moment, as I've written about in previous posts, keeps us sane and calm. Do whatever you can to be present - as the brilliant Eckhart Tolle tells us in his breakthrough book, "The Power of Now", in the present moment we don't have any problems. I suggest you read this book for the perfect explanation of the power of being in the present.
I can’t know your personal situation, and nor can I understand the sad and tragic events in our world.
I know that I feel deep compassion for anyone who has suffered in any way (that’s most of us), and I love to learn about how to help people feel good, regardless of the situation.
I intended this blog to be about my F.A.B theory, but it then took a turn to write about dealing with a tragedy. Sometimes the blog writes itself.
My message today is that if you are suffering from a tragedy or sad event, don't ask "Why?", but focus on being present. Be here now, and enjoy what you have, and be with loving people. Talk to someone loving and caring. My business, Love Heart offers coaching for people to change their beliefs and to live a happy life, however this is not an ad for my business. I believe if you need to talk, talk to anyone - it doesn't need to be a counsellor or coach. My best confidantes are my mum and my best friends.
Be present. Be loving. Be kind. Do whatever you can to feel good. That's the best you can do.
Lots of love,